Friday, December 25, 2009

Kate

She leaves in January for a new adventure...the continuing adventure of Kate. College-bound! All the way across the country to Mississippi. I am incredibly proud of my eldest daughter. She has had a tough year. She worked hard and diligently to graduate a year early...with honors! All the while dealing with the stress of her father having 2 surgeries and has recently had a third. She became the "woman of the house" when I went to Washington to help with family. She was in charge of her father's care after surgery for 10 days and did an amazing job! Including driving him through morning commute traffic with just a few hours of driving under her belt. Most young ladies her age would not have been able to do this. Nurse a parent and keep the house together as well as keeping up on her studies. And smiling! She amazes me! Right now she is under a lot of stress. Dad retiring within the year with the possibility of coming home to a different house in a different state next Christmas. Going to school across the country. She is headed out to a place she does not know anyone in the middle of the year and dead set on digging in and getting to work! But she can do it! She is one of the strongest people I know. She's had to be as a military kid. We have uprooted her many times and each time she roots again. This time she is uprooting herself. Not an admirer of change...she is loading up and heading to Belhaven University in Jackson Mississippi as a new student in the midst of returning students. new people and new surroundings! She is following her desire and trying to follow her heart. And this is how we have raised our girls! They need to do what is going to make them happy...even if it doesn't follow other people's ideas of "logical steps". Follow your heart because that is where Christ is...He lives in your heart...not in your logic. Kate is going where she believes she is suppose to be in order to write...although I know it isn't exactly where she wants to be...but that is another story of her heart. With her she will take the love Christ has for her, the love she has for her family and the love she has for her best friend and from there she will only grow through Him and become an even more amazing person! And here is the fun part....because of all the uncertainty in her life...she HAS to trust in Jesus. I have watched this young lady grow so much in Him! She has learned to listen to Him in her still moments. Therefore she trusts her instincts. her instinct to travel across the country for school, her instinct for writing, and her instinct for loving....I am so excited for her! She is paving her own path...not a path paved for her. She trusts what God puts in her heart....and the "logic" comes naturally!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

My Husband's Hands

My husband travels for work and can be gone quite often and sometimes quite long. And each time he comes home I am given the priviledge to be reminded of how tall he is, or how much I love his smile and how much I miss his boisterous laugh when he is away. This homecoming I was reminded of his hands. As we sat together catching up on the long week he was away his hand held mine. They are a bit rough, but strong and can encompass the whole of my hand. I have always liked the way his hands look. They look strong! And I thought to myself how much those hands have done in the 20 years we have been together. One moment those hands held our brand new baby girl, tenderly yet confidently as the tears rolled down his cheek. And in a blink of an eye, another baby girl, holding her gently so big sister could get a good look. And yet those same hands have grasped an M-16 as he dodges mortar shells. Those hands have held closed a wound received by a young man in a car accident. Those hands have built many things, yet torn other things to shreds. And then in another moment those hands are brushing the hair from my face as he looks at me saying hello after a long time apart. And those hands come together in prayer.
God truly did create man in His own image. God's hands do all this...hold a newborn baby, He builds, He brushes the hair from our faces to gaze at us and His hands can tear apart anything. Yet His hands encompass the whole world , and His hands carry us when we need Him. And His hands molded my husband into what he is today physically, spiritually...His hands work through my husband's hands, my hands, and my childrens' hands. Amazing!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Truly Blessed!!

I went with a heavy heart. I had complained that it wasn't going to happen...I felt I needed it to happen. I felt I needed it. Then, there was the invite. Our monthly Mom's Night Out was back on thanks to the graciousness and willingness of two of our moms. But it was also by the grace of God that it happened. He knew I needed it. I have carried this heavy heart...and He knew where I could go to lighten my load. There were only six moms including myself. It was intimate enough to be able to share that I needed prayer...that my daughter needed prayer. And God showed me that I am doing something right in this world purely through forgiveness. Through our fellowship we shared victories and concerns. We shared laughter and we shared tears. And most importantly, we shared prayer!! I feel so full of His love right now I am shaking!! God is awesome!!
I now know that I can forgive the deeply wounding words thrust without care into my daughter's heart. I know through His love I can forgive this person whom my daughter so respects, for the words he spoke so harshly! And I pray that my daughter's heart will be healed as she learns to forgive as well. Please Lord, do not let these careless words build a wall around my loving child!!!

Jump In!!!

I woke up this morning with my mind already at work. Perhaps it is the sound of the rain outside my window that my brain woke up to...but this is what is on my mind.

The greatest adventures can begin with a small leap of faith from the path of not knowing what you desire to the path of finding out.
Life would be very easy if you stayed with the flow...just go day to day doing what you do or doing what is expected and not straying from that path. But a small leap of faith...your faith in Jesus...can lead to the greatest adventures. Trust Him! If He continues to lay a path before you...but you do not take it out of fear, or you do not take it because you are not sure that is what you want, the timing isn't right for you or someone in your life is waving from the sideline yelling "don't go there"...you will be missing out on one of those adventures. Go ahead...play it safe, go with the flow...live moment to moment as many like to quip. You will be missing out on life itself and will soon be leading the life that someone else has laid before you...not the life He wants for you. Life is an adventure...jump in!!!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A New Year!

I am finding myself feeling somewhat reflective if not "down" today. It's a new year and is suppose to be a new beginning. Reflecting over the past year...it was awesome!! But somehow...and this is what I need to fix...things that happened this holiday season...conflicts that arose...are making it difficult for me to reflect with a smile...and just really wonder about the future.
The conflicts were/are totally unnecessary...manifested by someone getting their "panties in a wad" or "their knickers in a bunch" and feeling it quite neccessary to put their 2 cents worth in...where it was not needed...nor to the glory of God. It does not help that I absolutely hate conflict and try to avoid such as much as possible. I admit to being a coward in this area..and want everyone to be happy...even at my own expense. But, there are times in which setting the record straight is unavoidable. If people would be straightforward and communicate...this would not be the case. Instead, some choose to whip with a snide comment in order to manipulate. Not only do they manipulate someone directly...but they manipulate others indirectly. A snide comment puts you on guard...therefore trickling down to others. Pretty soon...the indirectly manipulated are wondering what offense they have committed to cause a change in behavior by the directly manipulated. Basically...s*** rolls downhill....and right now I am trying to figure out how not to get hit..I am at the bottom...looking up...thinking...WHAT THE HECK???